2024 Neurodivergent Summertime Struggles: Productivity Fail

Neurodivergent summertime struggles are real, especially when you’re neurospicy. Don’t get me wrong. I love summer. It’s always been my favorite season. Summer is the obvious choice when you’re someone who prefers to be unencumbered by clothes. I love the sunshine and not worrying if I’ll get rained on. Sure, some who love summer love how active you can be during the long, warm days. The rest of us love it for the plethora of opportunities to lie down. Need a nap? Blame the heat. Plus, laying down at the beach or by the pool are socially acceptable forms of tatering. I fully believe that should be taken advantage of.

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Summer Sensory Struggles

As much as I love summer, it also comes with some serious sensory struggles. While I love the heat, too much is a bad thing. With Tel Aviv summers that average over 90F/32C and about 90% humidity, it gets legitimately damp. You’re just instantly sticky when you go outside. Not only does it feel and possibly smell disgusting, but it also makes your clothes bunch up. Occasionally, it also puts your sweat patches on display too. No, thank you. You stick to all the chairs you sit on. There’s a constant risk you’ll leave a butt-shaped sweat mark anywhere you sit. No matter how many times you fix your hair, some of it will slither its way through sweat and wind around your neck somehow. All of these things bother neurotypicals too but for people with sensory struggles, they can be all-consuming.

I like to be warm and tend to be a bit of a lizard in my room temperature and sunbathing preferences. However, even my lizard self gets cranky when it’s too hot. The air conditioning unit (we call it a mazgan in Hebrew which is so much easier to say) in my office doesn’t work well. By the time early afternoon hits, I’m sweltering and can’t wait to get the fuck out of there. The sauna-like setting impacts my already problematic appetite. I rush to finish work so I make careless mistakes. This has all resulted in an unexpected neurodivergent summer struggle of a wild lack of productivity.

Slightly Less Independent Than I Used To Be

I lived alone for five years while running an at-home daycare business with four infants. I used to get shit done, okay? Now there are no babies and I have a very flexible job which you think would mean I’d be more productive. Well, I have ADHD so it doesn’t.

Lucky for me, I have a wonderful husband who helps share much of the load with me. It gives me time to do what I need to do to take care of myself and my body so I don’t feel like utter garbage. We tend to cook more often when we’re splitting those duties so I eat better. I have time to work out and do some food prep in the morning while still getting started with work by a decent hour. I typically have time to do something for the blog or my Etsy store after I’ve finished work tasks for the day.

Backsliding Through Summer

Unlucky for me, my husband has been abroad majority of the last three months for work while I’m stuck here with the dogs. With all of the dog care, cleaning, and cooking duties on me, admittedly, I ain’t getting shit done. The days I do feel productive, if the office gets too hot, I can’t focus long enough to work on my own projects. I take on less work because I don’t want to be in this terrarium longer than is absolutely necessary. I know I said I tend to be a lizard but it’s too much, even for me.

Ultimately, I end up annoyed with myself and fight a lot of negative self-talk when I don’t make as much money as I want to. It’s important to push through the blah to some extent but I also know I have to be realistic with myself. Too much pushing through always leads to days-long (at least) burnout which just sets my productivity back even further. I know my need for routine and consistency but my brain also resents the hell out of it sometimes. Some days (or maybe a few in a row) I just need to rot in the room with the best air conditioning, okay? It’s just a coincidence that room is my bedroom.

Dopamine Dayze

One of the other neurodivergent summertime struggles I deal with is being even more ruled by dopamine than usual. There are so many fun things to do in the summer that it’s hard to resist them for the unrewarding discomfort of a desk. There’s a beach 10 minutes from me. Sitting in my office all day seems like such a waste of sun, even if it’s sunny every day here. How can I focus on work when I could be watching reality TV in my pool? I also swear the wave mat I have in the pool is a healing experience I wish I could share with everyone. Bottom line, there are just so many things I’d rather be doing and there’s just something about summer that makes it even harder to resist the dopamine quest to do the things I know I should be doing.

What if it’s not even the ADHD? Maybe there’s just something about summer itself that makes me not want to be productive. Can I blame it on school? After almost 20 years of being a student, maybe my brain expects there to be a summer break and I’m just struggling to break the routine. Admittedly, it’s not one I really want to break. Summer should be fun! (IYKYK) I want to be making more money and making more progress with the blog but…summer is currently winning. And I think I’m okay with it?

Summertime Struggles With Staying Regulated

Also with neurodivergent summertime struggles, I’ve noticed that it seems a bit harder for me to stay regulated. It’s like my body is too busy trying to regulate body temperature so tosses emotional regulation to the side. That’s not to say that I’m over here flying off the handle over minor things on a daily basis. Generally, I’ve done a lot of work in therapy in the last couple of years. It’s allowed me to understand myself better, process a lot of childhood trauma, and gain regulation tools.

While I’ve learned to fight most of the negative self-talk I picked up in childhood and no longer berate myself when I feel like I’ve been anything less than perfect that day, there are still other regulation battles that just seem harder in the summer for some reason.

Dragged Into the Depths by Overstimulation

I’ll give an example from this week. It’s felt extra hot and humid this week which has made for some iffy sleep and a lot of sweat. I forgot to close my blinds all the way which means the brutal summer sun was unwelcomingly beating onto my face an hour before I needed to be awake. Obviously, the dogs are also hot so they’re shedding more which means more dog fur to get stuck all up in my sweat. A true sensory ick. Procrastinating starting my day as I was rudely woken earlier than necessary, I checked my phone to find people had sent me screenshots of something passive-aggressive my mom posted about me. For months now she’s been posting things like a high school girl and I’m a teenage fuckboy who won’t date her.

Mostly I’ve been laughing them off with the people who actually love me unconditionally because it’s truly absurd to be living through a war while your mom posts things like that. But on this day of summer struggles, I just couldn’t shake it the same way. Before my day had even started, I had sensory stimulation stirring. I had an appointment that morning so my regulating morning routine was thrown off. Rather than being able to laugh it off and remember tools from therapy, I just felt retraumatized.

Not only retraumatized but like further things from my childhood I had buried were again bursting forth to be processed. Instead of tackling my to-do list that day, I was forced to sort through all the childhood memories that popped up and to consider them through the lenses and tools from my therapist. It was definitely not how I wanted to spend my day. It also was definitely not one of the neurodivergent summer struggles I anticipated.

Focusing on Growth

Sure, I could spend my summer drowning in a memory pool of childhood trauma. If I put things off longer than a day, I could give into the negative self-talk and call myself a slob or lazy as my stepdad always told us we were for doing normal kid things. I could guilt trip myself about how many tasks on my to-do list have been rolled over from week to week. But what good does any of that do me?

Of course, we can learn how to improve by assessing our failures and considering what we can do to improve. But dwelling on every perceived failure, no matter how small, blocks out the glow of the good. For so long, I’ve looked at things from the angle of perfectionism but dude, it gets really exhausting. I’ve realized I can be mad at myself for not posting to the blog once a week, or I can look at the posts I have written. Posts that have done better than any posts I’ve pumped out trying to stick to a content calendar. Some of the posts were even a result of someone reading the blog and reaching out to network with me. Why haven’t I really paused to dwell on that exciting development at all until now?

Turning Summertime Struggles Into Positive Change

While I’ve spent a lot of time floating in the pool this summer, I’ve also spent a lot of that time reflecting on my thought processes. (Wave mat for the win! I’m telling you, it’s healing.) Of course, I have goals for myself and things I want to achieve. I know how much work those will take so I have this expectation of myself that I should use every possible hour. That’s simply just not feasible for my neurodivergent brain and I will get nowhere if I don’t set my expectations within that same framework.

I need to consider my current situation when creating expectations for myself. Yes, I used to be a student-athlete who got good grades while holding multiple jobs and volunteering. But now I have my own household to run, a husband to make time for, a chronic illness that’s dragging my white blood cell count into the basement, am working through a lot of childhood trauma, all while living through a war the last nine months and worrying about my best friends and husband’s family who are in and out of the midst of it. Why am I holding myself to the same standard of what I did in my twenties when my life is so different now?

Ways You Can Work Through Summertime Struggles

I am by no means healed and ready to be a guru. Sometimes I think I’m over the hump and feel armed with all the tools I need with a semblance of control over things. Then something else happens and it feels like I left my tool belt at home. (Leave it to me to even have ADHD in a metaphor.) I could dwell on how much more there is to be done but we’re trying to be more positive around here, no? I do recognize how far I come, how much I’ve learned, and what I’ve gained. After all the reading, targeted algorithm content, therapy, and talking about it with my husband, friends, and family, there is some unsolicited help I can offer.

If you’re neurodivergent and dealing with executive dysfunction, task initiation and/or completion, or any other parts of the neurospicy variety package, you probably also struggle with negative self-talk, perfectionist tendencies, and are probably really hard on yourself whether people realize it or not. Read on for some tips and questions to ask yourself when you’re battling neurodivergent summer struggles

Things To Ask Yourself When Battling Neurodivergent Summer Struggles

Question: Are you just plowing through and not realizing you’re struggling because of sensory issues such as being too hot, wearing uncomfortable clothing, or working in a room that’s too bright?

Tip: Make what adjustments you can. Take advantage of the ADHD urge to rearrange furniture so the sun isn’t blaring in your eyes all afternoon. Ask yourself what items could help such as blinds, a fan, or secondary lighting so you can turn off the big light. Adjust your wardrobe to include more neurodivergent friendly clothing.

Question: Are you really being lazy or is there something else going on?

Tip: Maybe you’ve had a big life change recently or are working through a fresh wave of childhood trauma to process. If you’re freshly diagnosed with ADHD or autism, you’re suddenly operating under an entirely new framework. Maybe your partner is working extra hours so you’re having to handle more around the house and actually make your own phone calls. Hell, maybe you are actually just stuck in a rut with no major life event going on. If that’s the case, there’s still probably something going on that’s blocking you whether it be mental or physical health-related, a need for more routine, burnout, or a home environment that has you more in survival mode than you realize. Take the time to follow those thought threads and see where they take you. (And may I recommend doing it on a wave mat?)

Question: When you don’t meet your expectations, would you say the things you’re saying to yourself to another human being?

Tip: Then don’t say it to yourself, dummy.

Question: Why do you feel guilty or like a failure if you don’t do a particular task? Where does that association with failure come from?

Tip: This is inspired by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I know CBT has a very negative connotation in the autistic community but not all of it is abuse and forcing autistic people to act neurotypical. CBT principles state that psychological problems are partly based on unhelpful or faulty ways of thinking that are often based on learned patterns of unhelpful behavior. Taking the time to pinpoint the negative things you say to yourself and where those thoughts originate can be incredibly helpful, allowing you to process ingrained thought processes you may be unaware of and ultimately help you re-wire your thought process. If your brain spends less time on negative, unhelpful processes, it has more time to focus on helpful processes (which are significantly less draining in my experience.)

Question: Are you stuck in an internal world or are you connecting with loved ones and sharing your thoughts and feelings with them?

Tip: It is very easy for someone neurospicy to get caught up in an internal world and suddenly it’s been weeks or even months since you’ve seen friends. We may be a different neurotype but we’re still humans and need connection. Some of us grew up in families who told us not to air our dirty laundry but that’s incredibly isolating. You’re allowed to talk about your experiences and things you’re processing with people you care about. My therapist has been helpful but talking to friends and family about the things I’m going through has been arguably more so. It’s made me feel less alone in my experiences, less gaslit, and thus more sure in my own feelings which is a wonderfully rooting feeling. 10/10 would recommend.

Per usual, there are no magic fixes and The Work is still work. A lot of it. Still, I hope that at least something in here is helpful for you. The Work is hard but it’s worth doing. If there’s something I missed or a question you have about anything I suggested, please let me know in the comments or send me an email.

I want to hear from you! Do you battle the neurodivergent summer struggles? What is it about summer that slows down your productivity and are you being nice to yourself when it does?